Detail: 29-05-2022 - Hampton Wick

Result: Lost by a few runs
Blues at Hampton Wick

It was a day of firsts for the Blues at Royal Hampton Wick.

The first time Blues have had two bowlers quit mid-over with their set finished off by another bowler.

The first time an Australian has found an English summer's day so hot he kept asking for a drink of water (Brando's obviously been here so long he's gone native: he'll be preferring Penguins to Tim-Tams, Marmite to Vegemite and Bungle to the Wiggles next).

And definitely the first time a Blue has ever committed a Mankad during a match.

That was the big talking point as dusk fell, jugs were sunk and the deer moved in at Bushey Park on Sunday night. And we'll find out which RHW viewpoint carried the day (young guys, 'yeah, no problem, he'd been warned'; old guys, 'most disgraceful thing I've ever seen on a cricket pitch') when Harry J gets in touch during the winter to renew the fixture.

It would, of course, be Jenks to whom that responsibility falls since it was he, with a deft pause in his delivery stride and smart Zidane-esque turn, who executed the calumny after Wardy had spotted the non-striker was in danger of getting to the far end before the ball.

Not that the voluble Blues all-rounder was cowed by the storm of protest he evoked. He volunteered to umpire and promptly chalked off a wicket with a belated no-ball call.

Add Brando smashing a tile with a wayward hit during pre-match catching practice, and Fyfe disputing a wide call with the umpire, and, yeah, maybe we won't be invited back.

However, maybe we will, as Blues sunk more than GBP100 behind the bar and will also be chipping in for a new tile or two. And most of the oppo seem to enjoy playing us, which isn't surprising as we provide a useful boost to their batting and bowling averages. Ever since Pikey smashed them all over the park they've fielded strong teams against us.

And Hamish was grudgingly persuaded, for the sake of the team, to apologise, though in a classic 'non-apology apology', he did point out, 'I still think I'm right'.

The day had begun promisingly with Blues showing some craft and cunning to unlock the nets without breaking-and-entering to enjoy a decent net session. We looked good. As Glenn said to their skipper Zak at the toss, 'we're full of all-rounders'. 'You said that last time,' he observed sagely.

Under a fierce, beating sun, with barely a breath of wind, Blues actually bowled pretty well, and apart from the odd lapse stuck at it in the field. A good job too as anything that beat the infield disappeared for four and into a swathe of long grass that looked like the rough at Carnoustie.

James (1-23) got the breakthrough, clutching a caught-and-bowled after looking around hoping someone else would claim it - mate, never, ever, trust anyone else to take a catch off your own bowling.

However, that brought in the Browning brothers, and while the elder was always vulnerable to Man United-related banter (they were losing to Brighton throughout his innings) the pair were only separated when the younger retired on 100 not out.

Losing Tom Jordan to a calf injury didn't help. He'd bowled nine balls of probing spin, conceding just three runs, and looked good for a long spell until he fell to the floor like a Premier League footballer with a matching yelp of pain.

'Might be cramp', said Brando helpfully, before testing this theory and bringing a much louder yelp of pain. It wasn't cramp.

Vez also had to retire mid-over, though in his case it was his footwear which was falling apart, not his honed triathlete's body.

Eventually the other Browning gloved a leg-side catch off Ali (1-33) - and walked, which helpfully avoided another incident given even 'keeper Youcef hadn't realised he'd hit it.

The Mankad followed. The classy-looking left-handed bat obviously hadn't believed Jenks would make good on his threat. He knows now.

Hampton Wick closed on 242-4 off their 35 overs. Over a substantial tea Blues felt it was par for the pitch, and, at seven-an-over, gettable.

It soon became clear this optimism was wildly misplaced. The pitch suddenly wasn't playing as easily, but it was hardly a minefield either, the outfield hadn't slowed and it was still baking hot. Nevertheless their 14-year-old opener took 4-30 as Blues bats 1, 2 & 4 scored one between them.

From 15-3 after eight overs Brando and Jack (13) rebuilt, but at drinks we were 56-4 with the rate past 10-an-over. Harry J added an injection of boundaries, making 35 with six fours, while Brando hit ten of them in an excellent 70.

Their partnership included two threes and an all-run four, which given the heat was impressive, if a bit daft.

Back in the pavilion tension was rising, but mainly because dismissed batters kept having showers, much to the ire of Hamish who'd parked his bike in the showers. It looked very clean afterwards.

Fortunately Fyfe (20 not out) was soon summoned to the middle, but before he and Brando could launch one final assault our Aussie departed.

With the score 140-6, and only five overs left, the game was up despite some late hitting from Vez (25 not out), who'd finally had to put some clothes on and stop flaunting his physique.

After that all that remained was to get stuck into the jugs, build a few bridges and leave a selection of water bottles behind.

Next stop another flat track in 30C degree heat, at Odiham, but there's also good teas, showers and nets, and a lot of glorious countryside in which to hit balls /search for them.

[updated 17 11 2022]